the truth is, I love you. You fascinate me and I adore you. I regret blogposts that tear you apart as soon as they are posted. This is limerence. You've done such damage to me and as a result, I've continued to damage myself in emotional confusion. I'm the kind that cuts - that drugs out negative emotions - just like it has always been. I don't want to be responsible for my own feelings and subsequent actions.
I have to go a year now without choice medications. Swapping out the naturals for the synthetics. Zyprexa and Hydroxazine will have to keep me straight, but they are so mild. Just enough to manage what would otherwise be the slamming of tables or throwing of objects.
I've bled and bruised over you - went to jail over you. This worked last time. Last time, she came back and we got married. It was all worth it. I can't expect that of you now. You've put your foot down and I've put down mine. I will not give way - there are serious consequences if found talking to you again. The Courts know you talked to me. Its all being consolidated into one Mental Health case.
You have to work where you work.