ground zero
I have a laundry hamper to the side of my bed. Pots and pans are underneath for when I need to cook. I have a cup, a plate, a bowl, and 5 meal prep containers. I have the Yamaha CS Synthesizer at the foot of the bed and a guitar to the right of it. Some clothes are in the closet. There is rarely anyone stirring at the new Oxford House.
I sleep unless I am working. I make it to the library sometimes. Recently, I have been reading The Wise Path on Wikiversity in an attempt to improve myself. I've also been reading the Bible and attending Mass. I recently went to Reconciliation and confessed to witchcraft. I served a penance.
I met with a Housing Representative so I could get rent vouchers. Having my own place would give me some autonomy. Having access to my studio gear would help me feel more alive. It would mean so much to me to be able to produce music once again.
In doing a personal inventory, I find that I have been a rather detestable person in the past. I still wall up around people but I want to come out of hiding. I don't want to damage anyone. I don't want to damage myself.
I am taking my medications and I go to the gym. I eat well enough. I am hoping that circumstances will arise to where I can be a good friend to someone.
I am sorry for lashing out. I could not handle wealth and prestige. I need to live meagerly to stay humble. I am lonely.
I am so sorry for what I have done.